Gary, this was gripping from the very first line. I love how you blended the intimate, everyday details—the hum of the fridge, the feel of linoleum underfoot—with this overwhelming sense of dread and loss of control. It made the horror feel so real and close. I’m really enjoying your work! please keep sharing more of these stories.
Amazing! Absolutely! I think you have one of the most cinematically layered writings I have read in a long time. This was so good. Thank you! Keep writing, it’s powerful.
Thank you Sylvienne, I very much appreciate your comment.
In this one I tried two new things for me: first person POV as I felt it increased the claustrophobia Thomas must have felt within his own mind, and writing in media res.
Yes, a prisoner in his own mind. He was there, but had no control. The bird in the cage is a very poignant way to describe his state inside of himself, being controlled by something else entirely. Watching it transpire. This is how it feels to people with mental disorders. They are prisoners, and they want to get better. To put the voices to rest and just be themselves, however, many times they medicate or overmedicate and become addicts to drown it out. Then the addiction compounds the situation, and they are then a shell of what they once were completely. Truly amazing. Many people can see themselves in this. You honestly will resonate with many people with this. Because you can add anything holding you back into this place. That is its superpower.
Thank you very much for your insightful comment. I hope it does resonate. I like to try to get into characters’ heads, explore facets I don't have first hand experience with, try to convey my interpretation.
You do it well. I call it an immersive writer. I can do it too. Once I am there, I can smell , hear, feel, taste and surround myself with them and then make it resonate on paper.
The way you wrote his internal battle, especially when he kept thinking back to his son, made my heart sink. The details were perfect where I felt like this is something that could actually happen. Especially when he greeted his neighbor. The smile at the end gave me chills. This was an amazing read!
Oh, this was so good. Your writing is beautiful and flawless, and the fight between Thomas and Jonas is heart-wrenching, especially the battle between those images/memories of their loved ones.
So gripping. I was hooked. A brilliant write Gary. So enjoyed. The buildup was overwhelming. You have an amazing imagination. Your stories always come to life.
Gary, this was gripping from the very first line. I love how you blended the intimate, everyday details—the hum of the fridge, the feel of linoleum underfoot—with this overwhelming sense of dread and loss of control. It made the horror feel so real and close. I’m really enjoying your work! please keep sharing more of these stories.
Thank you so much, I am glad you enjoyed it.
Amazing! Absolutely! I think you have one of the most cinematically layered writings I have read in a long time. This was so good. Thank you! Keep writing, it’s powerful.
Thank you Sylvienne, I very much appreciate your comment.
In this one I tried two new things for me: first person POV as I felt it increased the claustrophobia Thomas must have felt within his own mind, and writing in media res.
Yes, a prisoner in his own mind. He was there, but had no control. The bird in the cage is a very poignant way to describe his state inside of himself, being controlled by something else entirely. Watching it transpire. This is how it feels to people with mental disorders. They are prisoners, and they want to get better. To put the voices to rest and just be themselves, however, many times they medicate or overmedicate and become addicts to drown it out. Then the addiction compounds the situation, and they are then a shell of what they once were completely. Truly amazing. Many people can see themselves in this. You honestly will resonate with many people with this. Because you can add anything holding you back into this place. That is its superpower.
Thank you very much for your insightful comment. I hope it does resonate. I like to try to get into characters’ heads, explore facets I don't have first hand experience with, try to convey my interpretation.
You do it well. I call it an immersive writer. I can do it too. Once I am there, I can smell , hear, feel, taste and surround myself with them and then make it resonate on paper.
Brilliant use of imagery, what a piece! 👏👏
Great concept, very well executed
Many thanks!
Very fun to read.
Thanks Leo.
The way you wrote his internal battle, especially when he kept thinking back to his son, made my heart sink. The details were perfect where I felt like this is something that could actually happen. Especially when he greeted his neighbor. The smile at the end gave me chills. This was an amazing read!
Thank you so much for your comment. It's such a great feeling when one's writing resonates.
Oh, this was so good. Your writing is beautiful and flawless, and the fight between Thomas and Jonas is heart-wrenching, especially the battle between those images/memories of their loved ones.
Thank you Judith, so glad you enjoyed it.
So gripping. I was hooked. A brilliant write Gary. So enjoyed. The buildup was overwhelming. You have an amazing imagination. Your stories always come to life.
Thank you very much Brenda. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
What chilled me most here wasn’t the knife or the target, it was the warmth of that stolen “Evening, Carol!” That’s where the story sank its teeth.