12 Comments
User's avatar
Ausiàs Tsel's avatar

"I hate the threshold rule. I have opinions about it. This isn't the place." I'd read an entire novel narrated by this voice. The restraint at the end seals it. Strong piece.

Gary Mucklow's avatar

Thank you very much.

Gregory Blair's avatar

Nice! I like how we're given just enough information to keep us wanting to know what will happen next. Well done!

Gary Mucklow's avatar

Thank you Sir!

Wendy Russell's avatar

Really nice. I wasnt sure where this was going, yet kept reading because the narrator's voice was so compelling. Was he a good guy? Was this going to be a Dexter situation? and i loved that a little old lady was knocking people off in her basement. Loved it.

Gary Mucklow's avatar

Thank you.

Last week, as I was falling asleep, my brain shouted "Hey Gary! Burglars. But vampires"

F that guy.

Wendy Russell's avatar

Random idea brain is the best/worst. For me she kicks in when I am either half asleep, therefore unlikely to write it down, or when I am far from home with no paper and pen to hand.

Jenifer Jorgenson's avatar

Oh, this is a *good* one. I love the world you've created here, and I kinda want more.

Gary Mucklow's avatar

Thank you. Weird where these ideas come from lol.

Jenifer Jorgenson's avatar

Ain't that the truth!

And now I want a strawberry shake... 😏

Siobhan Gallagher's avatar

Oh, this was fun. Love the twist, reminded me of the film "Arsenic and Old Lace"--you can never trust those little old ladies.